When we talk to people we are not always communicating what we want them to know. We might be at complete loggerheads with their point of view because we do not know their motivations or what they might be thinking.
This is a problem. I’ve written before we are not generally mind-readers and in this case that power might come in very handy. You might ‘talk’ to someone from time to time but you flit across the surface of issues because of the conflict it can cause. I have seen people not talk for years or come to blows because they didn’t sit down and get to the root of an issue. An issue that can generally be dealt with quickly once the bullshit has been stripped away.
We have to be mindful of others agenda’s. and yes other’s have agenda’s too. You might think you’re doing the right thing but it could be being quietly undermined by someone else who thinks they are ‘doing the right thing’.
Only open, unjudgemental communication can get to the nub of things. But, who wants to do that? That’s really hard. And confronting and upsetting and emotional. It sometimes only happens at the end, of Life. What a waste right?
To get through this type of communication you have to want to listen. You have to want to move forward. It will be tough. But you don’t have to do it all at once. Table things and move onto the next. Come back to things that are really, really confronting.
And lastly, know you don’t have to do this. You can carry on as you are. It’s prefectly ok to do so. But, you have to ask yourself, “What if?”. What if I could have a better relationship here? What would that add to my life? What could that add to others lives?
What if …
Have a great week.
Three things I’ve found inspiring this week.