Weekly Relationship Tip from John Aiken – Support instead of instruct

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  • September 21, 2009

Another goodie from John.

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When we play an overly dominant role in a relationship, we can end up supervising and controlling our partner. We can spend most of our time policing them commenting on all sorts of actions – their cooking, cleaning, driving, dress sense, friendships, diet, exercise habits and use of money. It becomes disempowering for them and a burden for you. Try to do the following:

*Support instead of instruct*

This week let’s try something different to break the pattern. Let your partner go about their responsibilities, and hold back on giving them advice or directions. If they ask you for advice, say to them “What do you think?” or “How do you want to deal with this?” If things go wrong, you’ll cope with the outcome.

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